Human Resources Managers generally fall into a heap of overwhelming exhaustion after interviewing potential job candidates for a week. Today’s job applicants are different from 15 years ago.
Job applicants generally fall into several different categories:
Windex(R) Clean – These are dream candidates, which every company wants to pick up and hire immediately on the spot. They do not have criminal records, they have superior work ethics, and most importantly, they come readily prepared for the interview.
Alcoholics – These interviewees show up with ankle bracelets and smell like vanilla extract, the latest cheap alcohol high. They cannot carry on a conversation. They forget their resume at home and you are lucky if they do not vomit in a trashcan in your office. Do not forget to add in the expense of a cab ride home.
No Manners – The no manners candidate often will blow their nose during the interview, line up tissues and then offer to shake your hand. “Um, no thank you.” This leaves you wondering what type of parents actually raised them and hoping your entire staff does not get sick with the latest plague.
Misunderstood Job Description – There is always this group of people. They start chatting about the job description when halfway through you realize they are not on the same page as you. The job description is for talking to the public. The candidate suddenly has a look of horror and says, “I don’t talk to people.” Cut! That’s a wrap!
Candy Monger – Let us face it, the candy bowl is really just there for a piece of two, but mainly looks. Sometime in a Human Resource Manager’s career, they’ll get a candy monster that focuses on eating the entire bowl of candy instead of the interview.
The Lunch Eater – Every once in a while, a prospective applicant may take it upon themselves to bring lunch to the interview. This is likely because he/she thinks the interview will evolve into a lunch meeting, but all this does is put you off even further, not to mention the haunting food smells the engulf the office.
Defining Spaces – Remember the “Seinfeld” episode with the close talker? You will run into close talkers, but be prepared, you may also run into huggers – stranger hugs. It is awkward, uncomfortable and a moment in life that will not pass soon enough.
Outfits – When an applicant wears the wrong outfit, it can be awkward. It is even more disturbing if he/she thinks the job is for a sandwich billboard or costume store instead of a corporate environment. Imagine Batman showing up instead of Bruce Wayne.
Convict – During the hiring process, the applicant forgot to share that he had a lengthy conviction and felony record. Unfortunately, this happens quite often, which is why background checks are becoming necessary today.
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